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    #16
    Wow, you sure said it - "The ironic thing about drinking and anxiety is that I know I drink in hopes of lowering my anxiety (especially about work) ... but I also know I'm a lot more anxious after a couple of days of heavy drinking"

    I've been drinking like this for around 3 years (on and off). But it's just gotten bad lately so I know I needed to make a change. But yeah, work is a main driving force for me to drink lately. It's gotten really stressful. A lot is expected of me and I also put a lot of pressure on myself to do well. The 'problem' is that the better I do, the more that's expected, and the more stressed out I feel. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day, ya know? Drinking a bottle of wine makes that all kinda go away for a little while; but I started paying the price for that. My sleep suffered quite a bit. I worried every morning about my anxiety levels. When I didn't drink, there was still anxiety, but at least I wasn't doing it to myself in the form of a hangover. In fact, this is one of the main reasons why I'm quitting (for now anyway). I just want to be able to go to work, on a full night's sleep, and know that any anxiety I have is from work and NOT from something I did to myself in the form of alcohol abuse.

    I know it's not uncommon for people with anxiety disorders to drink their worries away. It's a dangerous combo, though, if not done in moderation,. I see nothing wrong with having a few drinks when you come home. I really don't. It's when it's every day or if you can't stop when the problem begins (and continues). And I found myself in this predicament. It was just about every day. I mean, I think I actually drank more during the week than I did on the weekends. For most people it's the opposite. I'd rather drink 2 days than 5 or even 7. It became 7. But not every day was the same.

    I'm definitely doing abstinence days after I finish tapering. No doubt about it. I may not drink for a month. I haven't decided yet. But my goal at this point is abstinence just so that I know I can, without a shadow of doubt. And know that I can abstain for x amount of days. This way I know I can for sure.

    Vodka really killed my stomach. That was a bad idea on my part. I think popping Advil in between didn't help much either. Not that red wine is soo much better. It's pretty acidic. But whatever. It shouldn't be much longer. I'm just trying to make sure I eat enough and drink a lot of water.

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