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    I am new...how do I start?

    I have been struggling with alcohol use since I was a teen. I discovered it after enduring years of molestation and physical and mental abuse from my older brother, and it was a great esacpe. However, it cost me two marriages and a relationship with my son. I have been sober in AA a few times and was absolutely miserable...i don’t like the judgment and shame and cult like thinking...
    So here I am...how does this work, and does it work? AA has brainwashed me into thinking my only hope is abstinence and if I don’t do that I may as well kill myself...
    I have a lot of friends who drink and want to enjoy my life, not sit about bitching in meetings or shaming people who relapse..
    Fact is I do drink way too much and want to cut way back....
    How do I start?

    #2
    Welcome golfgirl! Glad to have you with us.

    If you go to the "Closed Forum" you will see many posts, plans, etc. I found it helpful to read those when I first came here. Also, the main HAMS website is a great place to start as is the book. Additionally, if you post in the "Closed Forum" under "General Discussion" (post a "New Topic") and introduce yourself there with any questions you have, you will get a lot of help. It's a great group of individuals who are very helpful and non judgmental.

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      #3
      Well, the question is: " how much do you consider too much?". Also, if your friends are in the habit of drinking too much, they are going to be an obstacle in your path. Maybe it sounds rude, but it's true.

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        #4
        GolfGirl,
        My answer to your question:

        Start with very small steps in the right direction.

        I strongly recommend you come over to the Closed Forum portion. There is a section in there called "My HAMS Plan" As you read thru that, you will see that none of us have the same plan.

        The idea is, start where you ARE, and make small gradual changes towards where you want to be.

        Come on in. We don't bite.

        Art

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          #5
          Welcome to the forum gg. Check out the Hams 17 http://hams.cc/seventeen/ Best place to start imo. Then come on into the closed forum!

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            #6
            Welcome, golfgirl! I also play golf (not well but I enjoy it). As the others said, please come over to the closed forum and hang out with us!
            https://hams.vbulletin.net/forum/mai...and-naltrexone

            "We must make the best of those things that are in our power, and take the rest as nature gives it."

            - Epictetus

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              #7
              Welcome Golfgirl! On where to start, my suggestion is this: go to the main hams site and click on the seventeen elements. What especially works for me is the subcategory "hams toolnbox" under element 4. And yes this works -- I chose abstinence as my drinking goal 7 years ago using hams and have successfully continued reaching that goal everyday. But that is just my goal -- I fully support anyone reaching for their own goal, after all, "getting better is getting better." The elements give great concrete things we can do to reach any of our goals, for as long as we want to reach them. Peace and love and welcome!

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              • merlin
                merlin commented
                Editing a comment
                Welcome Back!!

              • Creativitylover
                Creativitylover commented
                Editing a comment
                smiles. Thank you merlin!

              #8
              Welcome. You will find so much support here. Also, I don’t agree with the person who said it’s wrong to have friends who drink too much. That was too judgmental. We aren’t about that here. First, decide your goal, is it abstinence, reduction, or something else. Second, slowly reduce your drinking to meet your goal and maybe use the tapering method. More info on this site about this. Finally, don’t criticize yourself on your off days when you don’t meet your goal. Welcome, this is so much better than AA. You can drink or not. You decide.

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                #9
                This is a great support system, hope you update on your status soon!!

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